Funniest Chevy Lines S01e22

Well Pierce went a little over the line last night and delivered some of the season’s best lines. 

This time he nailed just about everyone in the group. 

Annie: You said I have a crafty Jew brain.

Pierce: Nobody knows how to take a compliment anymore! 

Britta: So what’s the context for constantly calling me as a lesbian?

Pierce: If the wallet chain fits… I’m just trying to help you find yourself. 

Abed: He still assumes I’m a terrorist.

Pierce: If you’re not, I’m sorry. If you are, I’m a hero. I’m willing to take that chance.

“I’m not wearing my contacts.” — Pierce, with his glasses on, after mistaking a black woman for Shirley

“Why are Jeff and Britta making fun of those handicapped kids?” — Pierce

 What’s your favorite?

Funniest Chevy lines! S01E18

Last night's episode gave us lots of laughs and lots of classic Chevy lines! Pierce worked in call girls, Asian stereotypes and even a swastika!  

I give you the funniest Chevy lines from Basic Genealogy.

Pierce to Chang: "Hey... duck sauce, that was rude!"

Pierce to Chang: "The call girls I frequent are not nearly as attractive as my daughter."

Pierce guessing at Pictionary: "Smiling… sideways vagina?  Happy, sideways vagina."

Pierce to Jeff for guessing right: "As happy as a clam... what …a gay guess… idiot!"

Honorable mention goes to Ken Jeong for hiting several out of the park!

 Chang to class: “Wow, I can’t believe Star-burns isn’t a virgin… but judging from that Bluetooth headset, his son is.  CHA-CHANG!”

Chang to class: “It’s none of you business but I ate my twin in utero!”

Chang to Abed’s cousin: “Hey, Phantom Menace, how’s the trade embargo with the Naboo?”

Also Kudos to the cop:

Cop:  “I may just be a simple cop but people need to know… this is not going to stop until Pictionary bans the word Windmill.”

And finally Jeff and Pierce crying:

Jeff:  “I hate Glee!”

Pierce: “I’m not crazy about Glee either.”

Jeff: “I hate it… I don’t understand the appeal at all.”

The saddest thing about last weeks episode was finding out that last week Pierce farted on Vaughn and we missed it!

Funniest Chevy lines s01e17

With last night’s “Physical Education” we got one of the funniest episodes yet and as always Mr. Chase gave us some of the funniest lines!

“If all Chinese were psychic, you would have started using birth control centuries ago.”

“I can’t think of anything more frightening than a half-Polish, half-Arab virgin in his 30s. One way or the other, that story ends with an explosion.”

Honorable mention goes to:

Abed for quickly saying “13,” a la Rain Man, after Jeff knocks a bag of bagels onto the floor.

Coach Bogner: “Jeff Winger, shouldn’t you be at an Urban Outfitters?”

Funniest Chevy Lines: S01e12

Well Chevy came out swinging last night delivering some of the episodes funniest lines. Enjoy some of our favorites:

Pierce about Mike: “That guy wasn’t gay. He had a mustache.”

Pierce being racist to Troy: “I assume you’re handy with a switchblade.”

Pierce being racist to Abed: “You get back to the family tent and try to find a chicken for Jeff to chase.”

Pierce to Jeff about not standing up to Mike: “So what’s the deal Jeff, you leave your stones in your other suit?”

Honorable mention goes to Anthony Michael Hall who delivered one of the funniest lines of the episode:
Knock, knock… my fist up your balls!”

Funniest Chevy lines: S01e10

This episode was a good one for the ol’ one liners!

In response to Green Week:

“First we give a month to black history and now we’re blowing seven days on the Irish.”

“You know if Senor Chang gets any crazier he’s gonna win one of those Grammy Awards.”

“If he gets any nuttier their going put him on the view.”

UPDATE: after my original post I have received a number of e-mails insisting that I add another line from the episode… so by popular demand:

“Go tongue Chang!”

Funniest Chevy Lines: s01e06

Chevy did it again. Another classic line this time from episode S01e06:

“As far as I’m concerned there’s only one black hole worth studying.”

Nice one!

Funniest Chevy Lines: S01e03

Chevy didn’t have much to do in this episode but did manage to sneak in and knock a couple out of the park. The line comes 11:07 into episode S01e03. Today's Gem:

“Lose the jacket you look like a high school bitch.”

Nice one.

Funniest Chevy Lines:

Tonight marks what I believe to be the funniest line ever uttered on the face of the planet. So funny in fact that I have started a new section of the site you will find to the left of the page appropriately named “Funniest Chevy lines.” Tonight’s gem was uttered approximately 15 minutes and 26 seconds into the episode. And now I am proud to give you… and I quote:

“I’ll show you some sperm buddy!”

Welcome back Chev!