Needless to say this is probably not "appropriate" for work.
From Funny or Die:
The Committee Ep 1: Bad Dog w/ Alison Brie & Rich Sommer
Every year, the U.S. Patents Office copyrights 57 new sex acts. Who gets those patents is decided by Mr. Stevens and Mrs. Davis - collectively known as The Committee. In each episode, a different hopeful pitches to the Department of Amatory Copyright in the hope that their imaginative new sex act will become this years' Alabama Hot Pocket
I too am a big fan of the "Angry Pirate!"